This is the testimony of Diana; a powerful woman of God that has been an essential part of church family for many years. As you read through the testimony of her recent trials, we hope that it will bless and give you a revelation of who God truly is. Enjoy!
The past few months have not gone according to the plan of life that I had written for myself. I was in my last year of school, celebrating my 8th year of marriage, expecting my first child and starting a new position at my job. My plan was that everything was going great and was about to get better…except my grandfather passed away Fall 2015 and then my husband was hospitalized twice in that Winter 2015 due to his lupus but I managed to keep focused on what I needed to do, school and work. Boom the semester passed and on to my last semester to graduate, my plan is back in order.
I was going to finish my last 4 classes, graduate and then enjoy life as a mommy with my baby boy and husband. Oh the plans I had set for our first summer!…Then, on March 30, 2016 at 9:00 P.M. I found myself in an ICU staring at my husband whom was lying in a bed with a breathing tube down his throat…my entire plan had come crashing down. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, a full time student, working full time, having the plan of becoming the family of 3 we had always talked about, to now wondering if my husband was going to survive. That night I came home to an empty house, attempting to sleep in an empty bed. I remember crying out to God while rubbing my belly and saying “God why? What did we do to deserve this? I know what your word says and I believe it, please bring him out of this” I decided that night that I was going to remain in the little understanding and faith on what God had spoken to me years ago “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
I won’t go in to every single detail of my husband’s hospital stay but here’s some important things that made an impact. My husband stayed in the hospital till May 13. During that time he had been intubated 3 different times due to difficulties in his breathing. We also learned that the lupus was affecting his organs. During those first few weeks, the doctors always seemed to have a diagnosis of the things that were going wrong with my husband.
At the same time of receiving the hard news of his health I was trying to balance working full time, taking on house care, and still going to school full time…they all began to crumble and I had a difficult choice to make, I had to realize what my priorities were in that moment and realistically what I could handle under the emotional stress I had. So I put school off, I would not be graduating.
My due date came April 14, my husband was still in the hospital and my doctor said he’d give me another week before inducing me to see if my husband would be out of the hospital…I declared he would be and believed it…April 21st came and there was no way he was going to be getting out, his doctor even told us he had at least another 4 weeks before they believed he would be going home. I would welcome our son alone in a different hospital.
This is NOT the plan I had for my life, things were not suppose to go this way. How unfair! I had everything planned out on how it was suppose to go and it took a 180 turn away from what I wanted…I was angry, I was tired, I was beyond any feeling I knew to feel…then someone told me “but God…” That’s it, “but God” I didn’t get it in that moment…I got upset…that night I prayed, cried out, and worshipped, and stayed silent.
Then I received the revelation…my husband is sick, could have died…BUT GOD saved him and has control over his health, not me. I will not be graduating this Spring…BUT GOD has blessed me since i started school and will help me when I begin again. God has control over school not me. I will be welcoming our son alone…BUT GOD will bless my son, my husband and I. God is the one that is giving him to us, there will be many other things to celebrate with our son throughout his life. Both his mom and Dad will be there. God has control over him, not me.
I had been limiting who God was based on the circumstances I was in, instead of what His word said. Once I began to look at everything this way, my perspective changed on life. No matter what the doctors said about my husband’s health, my prayer was “But God…” along with a verse of truth from the bible.
When I went into labor, it became very long and intense (obviously) then the choice came to having a c-section…again not in my plans…BUT GOD had other plans, better than my own. I agreed and went off to the operating room…however, I had my husband on FaceTime so that he could meet our son before anyone else (Talk about amazing moment!).
When I was admitted into the hospital my husband had been placed on a CPAP machine for his breathing. I was worried on how he was going to recover without me being by his side. BUT GOD was with him. God was going to heal him not me. My husband’s health did a 180 that day. He came home when our son turned 2 weeks old.
Now is life back to where it should be? NO, not even close and that’s ok because life should not be how I planned it to be but how God had written it to be before I was born. “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.” Jeremiah 1:5 NLT Was I afraid of what would happen in the future? Yes, But the word says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
As I lay next to my husband and son in our bed, I can tell you that GOD is real and moving. I don’t know what struggles you are facing, I don’t want you to feel like “my problem isn’t as bad as Diana’s” either. We all experience life differently but you know what’s not different? GOD! The same way that he pulled me up out of the dark pit, he will pull you out also. The Bible is full of promises that are true and active right now. Find a verse that you can grab a hold to and proclaim it over your life and situation. I had to grab a verse daily. I had to sing worship songs and to declare the words that were spoken over our lives. Do the same!